For those who have been patiently studying “what not to wear” for years, the return of the bodysuits may be a bit of an oxymoron. But fashion itself is an oxymoron. I’m not going to tell you how to wear them to avoid your thighs looking like two Guinness Book of Records-breaking Yorkshire puddings, because if you’re going to wear them, you probably won’t care if you’re fat or not.
Fashion critics are often in the position of rushing to write an op-ed criticizing the unpopularity of a certain trend, only to find themselves wearing it (and then growing to love it, and then writing an anthem for its demise).
I’m a classic case of hate before love, having been prejudiced against the almost monstrous slope-heeled shoes (which I love), shoulder pads (which are nice), and leggings, and now wearing them almost every day. I’ve even started to look at women’s bodysuits differently, but I still find them too inconvenient to wear.
But one thing I can confidently assure you is that I will not wear bodysuits in the near future. There is no doubt that I would be intimidated by the way I look in a skin-tight bodysuits. I was once invited to a star-studded dinner party and, being six months pregnant, I was struggling to find a glamorous and stretchy dress for the evening, and Versace’s publicist kindly arranged for me to go to their sample gallery to choose something. Thinking the problem was solved, I went back to my work and didn’t arrive at her office until almost 6pm. The only thing left on the rack was a white bodysuit.
It’s worth noting that the bodysuits didn’t last long on the fashion runway. And it is likely to cause some controversy, based on the fact that this kind of clothing is easily associated with androgyny. But let’s put that aside for a moment and take a look at the Balmain show. Here the skinny bodysuits were completely stolen by Swarovski crystal embellishments, with large pieces of fabric draped from the models’ waists, as if they were curtains in a theater for a burlesque and odd bandage-like things on the legs. Let’s go back to Chanel and take a look. The skin-tight bodysuits are more traditional than that, but the models in the black-on-white bodysuits look a little too righteous and angry. I mean, some of the clothes are just unattractive, and some of them will make you look like Jessica Simpson before she slimmed down. The reason why she was named the best designer was because of The reason why she is the best designer is because I guess the people who wear this kind of jumpsuit are the ones who love to be in the limelight and don’t stop wearing it.
For those who have been patiently researching “what not to wear” for years, the return of the skinny jumpsuit may be a bit contradictory. But fashion itself is a contradiction. I’m not going to tell you how to wear them to avoid your thighs looking like two Guinness Book of Records-breaking Yorkshire puddings, because if you’re going to wear them, you probably won’t care if you’re fat or not. The point is that many mothers with teenage daughters like me are wearing leggings, thick-soled heels, and bodysuits, and the real teenagers are desperate to reclaim some of their own territories. If she’s bold enough and has the right body, good luck to her. Maybe there’s a bodysuit waiting for her on one Online Platform.